Trading Hate for Hope

By: Taylor Shifflett

This August marks five years since I began my recovery from Anorexia and Bulimia. I suffered silently for three years before treatment was my only option.  Recovery is the most rewarding journey I have faced. I have learned more about myself in the past 5 years, than some people learn in their own lifetime. I'm self-aware, I am thoughtful, I am compassionate, I'm wise, I'm strong. I know God chose me for this because I will fight loudly against the voices in my head.

Recovery brought me my husband. We have been married for just over 2 years now. In January of 2015, we found out I was pregnant! We both fell in love instantly with our little pea and could not wait for this new journey to begin. However, the Lord had a different plan in mind, and called our sweet baby home with him, before we would get to meet them here on earth.  My miscarriage was the perfect time to fall back into my old ways. My body had failed me. I was unable to do the ONE thing every women should be able to do.  I wasn't even good enough to carry a baby.  But instead of hate, I chose hope. I was so hopeful that God would provide me with something great. Instead of hating myself, I chose to be thankful. I was thankful to have known such a great love, even if it was only for a moment.  I knew because I chose to see the light in dark place, I was still worth loving.

March 17th 2016, we welcomed the most perfect baby girl to our family. We named her Hattie and she is WONDERFUL!  I am so proud to be her mom, and I am so proud of my body.  Choosing recovery means I get to giggle, and kiss and snuggle with the sweetest baby girl.  I get to watch her grow, and teach her how amazing life can be when you choose happiness.  I get to watch her as she learns about the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I get to tell her she's beautiful, and smart, and talented.

Recovery allows me to show her she is worthy of the best things in life.  That she truly deserves something great.  That she is so worth loving.

Because of recovery, I get a chance to do some good. I get to look in the mirror at my new life, and the new me and be proud.  Because of recovery, I know understand that I am SO worth loving.

1 comment


Beautiful story, thank you for sharing!

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